Wednesday, May 02, 2007

HIV in Louisiana: Playing it safe

2007 should be the year of WIUOTWFO (Wrap It Up Or It Will Fall Off!). Louisiana HIV cases are increasing. Since we have a big French influence it shouldn't be a big shock to get the point of these ads in France, which shocked people into seeing what a big risk it is these days to "slip up (or down)" with somebody. The full statistics are scary, but below is just a breakout of what's going on in the Bayou. As a matter of fact, uh, and a matter of public health, I will take it upon myself to explain to you how a random conversation should go with a person you just meet at a bar, club, library or even your place of worship:
Me: Hello.
Attractive person: uh, hi.
Me: I saw you over here looking at the menu.
Attractive person: uh, yes, I'm just seeing what I'll order.
Me: Uh, I don't mean to be so straight forward. Uh, have you thought about condiments?
Attractive person: Condiments?
Me: Oh yes laud! Condiments, you see, make the meal.
Attractive person: You mean like, jelly, or ketchup?
Me: Well, the jelly seems to work, but i've never used it. Latex probably is your best bet. Ketchup? You may want to stay away from anything red ... if you know what I mean.

OR, you could try something like this:

ME: Hello, there.
Attractive person: Hello.
ME: you showl is pretty.
Attractive person: (wierd stare)
ME: Protect ya neck, BIIIIOTCH!

Or, probably this:
ME: What's up
Attractive person: Nothing
ME: Well, actually that's not true, BUT, I've got protection. And to be honest I've got this stuff that adds 15 minutes to my endurance.
Attractive person: What did you just say?
ME: Oh, um, I said, I just saved 15 percent on my insurance.
Attractive person: Oh, okay. Let's do it!

Seeeee? It works, and of course, I was "safe" about it.

No comments:

Related Posts with Thumbnails