Friday, September 22, 2006


Saints 36, Falcons 30: With former President Bush in town for the coin flip; the 'Other' Bush drops bombs (no, not George Bush, the OTHER one. Named Reggie? Yeah.) New Orleans Rookie of the Year finally gets into the end zone for his first NFL touchdown; thing is he scores 3 of them. Receiving, rushing and punt return. GEEYYEAHHH!!!

Panthers 24, Buccaneers 6: Keyshawn Johnson faces his nemesis and old-coach Jon Gruden. Now THAT's a contest! Panthers got too much for the nonquarterback-having Bucs. So what, they don't have Steve Smith, ever heard O' Julius Peppers? He'll single-handedly beat the Bucs if he has to. Watch!

Colts 38, Jaguars 17: Proving that the Steelers game was a fluke, Peyton Manning goes bananas on a hapless secondary that thought they could hit him before he spotted Marvin Harrison making a zig-zag.

Ravens 28, Browns 0: Ray Lewis and Co. will hit somebody so hard that the ball will pop into a defensive lineman's hands and he'll run 70 yards before running out of gas and Steve McNair punch it in from the 10 yard line (It happens EVERY GAME!). Thing is, they won't even need the points.

Lions 40, Packers 28: Brett Favre is back to his cottonpickin' ways, as in ... INTERCEPTION. Lions will steal the game, and Mike Martz's offense will ring 40 on a unit that gave the Saints 34 last week.

Bears 16, Vikings 9: Da Bears will lower da boom and have the Vikes seeing purple. Urlacher and Co. will not give up a touchdown, but a turnover in Bears territory will surrender more field goals than advertised.

Dolphins 28, Titans 10: Dante Culpepper finally faces a quarterback sadder than him and the Fins roll, Nick Saban rejoices and South Florida takes down those 'Pullpepper' billboards.

Texans 13, Redskins 9: Joe Gibbs has the 'Skins playing so-so against their division; so what makes you think he can fire them up against dem dere Texas boyz? Texans drop dem Fifth Ward beads on 'em.

Giants 28, Seahawks 27, Old man Archie had an arm, Eli, Eli Oh ... guess the rest. When two equals face off, sometimes the bigger heart edges the bigger sword.

Eagles 31, 49ers 24: Both teams used to have T.O. now they have no O. Donte Stallworth will have a buck-fiddy in receiving yards, but so will a Niners receiver. Birds in a shootout.

Broncos 20, Patriots 16: The Pats should have lost both of their games yet they escaped to be 2-0. Not this time. The Branch trade finally catches up with them, big-time. Jake Plummer, after a horrible start, finally shows his gut.

Bengals 35, Steelers 17: Steelers coach Bill Cowher wakes up from a weeklong binge of drinking, only to resume sipping at halftime as Chad Johnson square-dances in the end zone on the way to a laugher. "Wake up, Bill, the ride is over."

Bills 19, Jets 13: The Bills, who should be 3-0, take it out on the Jets, the team that Time Forgot.

Rams 21, Cardinals 13: There's always one game that nobody cares about; this is it. Rams may win, Cards may win, Who cares?

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