LSU Champs Go to the White House

“LSU has the honor of being the first school to win two BCS titles,” George Bush said. “This year, there is no split.”
Fans, many wearing purple dress shirts and ties, held their cameras and cell phones aloft to snap pictures of the team. LSU giants, such as defensive tackle Glenn Dorsey and lineman Herman Johnson, dwarfed the president.
“You stand beside him and tears just come to your eyes,” Dorsey said after the event. “I just didn’t want to say anything goofy.”
No, we'll leave that to the president, who is known to have a little foot-and-mouth every now and then.
“This is coach Les Miles’ first time celebrating here at the White House,” Bush said. “And a lot of folks are going to remember it because it’s the first time he’s being seen in public without a hat on.”
Wow, such insight and discernment. Anyway, the Tigers have come full circle now. No more accolades or banquets for this group of seniors, many of whom are about to graduate.
“This is the last thing we’re going to do as a team, coming to the White House and meeting the president,” running back Jacob Hester said. “I had a whole speech prepared to tell the president but when he shook my hand, I was like a 2-year-old.”

5 Reasons Why LSU beat Alabama

1. DEFENSIVE LINE: Glenn Dorsey, Marlon Favorite and Al Woods plugged the middle for the Tigers more than any game this season in the SEC. Alabama couldn't run the ball very effectively and, with a 10-point lead, it meant John Parker Wilson had to pass to stay competitive (7 sacks, including one big one at the end). Tyson Jackson and Kirston Pittman on the ends both ate the lunches of their counterparts on the other end of the ball.

2. RECEIVERS: Early Doucet and the LSU receiving corps is back, which is what they haven't been since the 2nd game of the season (Virginia Tech). There has always been talent all over the unit, but it struggled without Doucet, and the emergence of Demetrius Byrd, who caught a go-route for a touchdown in the 3rd quarter, made Alabama pay dearly. Alabama's D.J. Hall, who leads the SEC and is 16th nationally with 95.5 yards receiving a game, had a relatively quiet night after a school-record 13 receptions for 185 yards and two touchdowns in the win over Tennessee two weeks ago. Tide senior Matt Caddell also had a big game, but frequently disappointing Ray Brown had the game of his life with 2 TD catches against the Tigers. But Alabama got increasingly one dimensional as the game wore on.

3. INSTANT REPLAY: Never has a team dominated the replay booth like LSU did, going 3-1 on crucial calls in the game. None were bigger than a 3rd down reception for more than 30 yards on 3rd down that Wilson through in the fourth quarter. LSU also got a very fortunate, and close call when a fumble was overturned late in the 3rd quarter. If any of those plays would have went the other way, LSU would have most likely lost the game, especially being down by 10 points at the time. "We should have won, and I'm really angry right now," Alabama linebacker Darren Mustin said. "I feel like we had that game won, but we just let them take it away from us."

4. 'BAMA COULDN'T RUN: Tide tailback Terry Grant, who led Alabama 667 yards for the season before the game, had 10 yards on 10 carries with under 10 minutes left in the 3rd quarter. Grant had been running behind a thin and young offensive line for most of the season, and it did him in as Nick Saban tried to slow the LSU pass rush by running it. LSU was not really effective on the ground as well as Jacob Hester turned in a demure performance outside of his two touchdowns, which were huge. But in the end LSU's defensive line was simply too much for Alabama's O-line.

5. NICK SABAN WAS OUTCOACHED: Les has got Balls of steel. And can we coach better than Saban? Well, he beat him. Why? Because Saban played a straight game. Saban saw in the first half that his team was not physical enough for the Tigers, not mano-o-mano, but he didn't go into his bag of tricks. "We don't play with enough discipline," he said. "It drives me nuts. My hands are bruised from smacking them together when we made mistakes, when we did the wrong things." Les, on the other hand, reached down into his bag and had quarterback Matt Flynn catch a nifty pass from the receiver Doucet. Even late in the game, knowing he didn't have a running game, he did no counters, no misdirections. It cost him. Big time. He got outcoached. "We kept hanging in there, kept fighting," Miles said. "We found a way to win. I've never seen that many mistakes in a game. We'll never play that poorly again."

Les Miles Will Beat Alabama. His Balls Tell Him So (Here's Why)

The fate of Les Miles and Nick Sab- uh, I mean, Satan have been linked long before their uber-big game in two weeks in Tuscaloosa.
You see, Satan visited Miles in a secret gathering early July this year, and the effects of that meeting are still being felt in the college football world.
Nice one, Satan. I've got to give it to you: We didnt' see this one coming.
See, this offseason, Les Miles obviously made a deal with the Devil. It probably took place in the locker room (the visitors' so he could be alone) of Tiger Stadium when everyone else had gone home:
"Debel, if you give me balls, big balls (he probably stretched his arms out for good measure), well, hell, I'll do your bidding."
Satan probably put his hand on his chin and walked around in a circular motion and said: "Just give us November 3." Miles gave the thumbs up sign, and Satan nodded in agreement.
It was a quick encounter, a wistful wish that probably slipped his mind when he started going back over the depth chart, scratching out super frosh Terrence Toliver from starting No. 2 receiver and reinserting Brandon LeFell. Ole Les sat down in his chair at his desk, and he felt a strange sensation from his crotch area. "Well, ShaaaaZAMMM!" Les probably said as he looked down between his legs.
The seat cushion under his scrotum was literally decompressing was a rapidly increasing heaviness.
Those balls had arrived.
Les Miles' balls have been on full display this season. And his coaching skills have deteriorated as the season goes on. See, Les Miles' balls are consuming him.
Soon, there won't be a Les Miles. Only balls. Big balls.
Michigan will be left to fly some balls in for an interview come early February. Big balls.

Turns out Miles has needed his balls, more than any other coaching attribute.
Miles showed his big, brawny ballsiness with the 5-for-5 on 4th down against Florida (desperate), also with the failed fourth-and-2.7 against Kentucky (arrogant), and finally the "1-tick miracle" against Auburn (reckless). When history judges him and he is enshrined at LSU (by enshrined I mean frozen ala Hans Solo, in a sideline pose with his friggin' balls out!), a picture of his mug will not be considered as a memoriam to The Man That Replace Satan. Instead, in a long case of glass you'll see some balls dangling over the side. Big balls. Les' Balls.